12 Steps to Great Relationships: Step 5, Be Open, Genuine, and Positive

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1:  Know yourself. Step 2:  Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3:  Expand your knowledge. Step 4:  Appreciate the differences.  Get perspectives on different values and cultures.  This goes for gender differences as well.

Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive.  And make no mistake. It is a choice.

Take a look at the two photos above.  The one on the top is a facial expression that I see often.  I work with technical folks and most of them have a neutral face at best, and some have faces that are downright angry looking.  If you have a face like the one on the left, the person you meet will fill in the blanks.  They will assume that you are angry, disinterested, dismissive, or bored.  They won’t feel pulled in and trusted by you.  But with the face on the right, there are no assumptions.  The face is open, genuine, and positive.  You are pulled in right away.  This initial impression is vital and most of the time completely overlooked.  What does your face convey when you meet someone?  More importantly, what does your face convey when you aren’t thinking about anything in particular?  And if you don’t know the answer to that, I would highly recommend that you find out.

What is your default style with people?  How do you make them feel?  Remember, people won’t remember what you said or how you said it, but they will always remember how you made them feel.  Are you creating a positive emotional experience for them?  Or is it just a cold transaction.  It is a choice, and you can be better at this with a little practice and self awareness.  Give it a shot and see how people react differently to you based on what you are giving to them.

If you want more information on the 12 steps to great relationships, click here: http://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Skills-Tough-Brent-Darnell/dp/0979925827/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326056211&sr=8-1

And for all Amazon Prime members, you can borrow the Kindle edition for FREE!

Look for step 6 soon!


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