12 Steps to Great Relationships: Step 9: Make It All About Them!

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1:  Know yourself. Step 2:  Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3:  Expand your knowledge. Step 4:  Appreciate the differences.  Get perspectives on different values and cultures.  Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive. Step 6 is to develop a genuine love or at least acceptance of other people.  Step 7 is to pay attention to the first five seconds.  Step 8 is to pay attention to the second encounter.

Step 9 is make it all about them.  Jesus washed his disciples’ feet as a way to show that he was serving them, that they were important.  And back then, I think your feet got pretty dusty.  It wasn’t a glamorous job.  When Jesus did this, he made his disciples feel special.  It creates a great connection with the other person.  I don’t recommend feet washing necessarily, but there are things you can do.

The key to creating a great connection with someone is to be interested, not interesting. People aren’t really interested in what you are doing or saying, only in what they are doing or saying. This is the cardinal rule of being a good conversationalist. An interesting story I heard some time ago (it may be true or not) is of a lady who had the pleasure of sitting next to two British Prime Ministers at dinners on two successive weeks. The first week was Lord George, and the second was Disraeli.

After the experiences someone asked her to compare the two. Her reply was, “After sitting next to Lord George I concluded that he was the most important person in the world. After sitting next to Disraeli I concluded I was the most important person in the world”. Disraeli was intensely interested in her, not in talking about himself. When you observe successful talk show hosts on television, seldom will you find them talking about themselves. Rather, they are filled with questions for the guest of the week. Of course that’s their job, but it serves as a convenient showcase to gain the feeling of a person who doesn’t talk about himself.  Try avoiding the use of the words “I”, “me”, or “my” during your conversations with others.  It will help you to keep the focus on them.

If you want more information on the 12 steps to great relationships, click here: http://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Skills-Tough-Brent-Darnell/dp/0979925827/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326056211&sr=8-1

And for all Amazon Prime members, you can borrow the Kindle edition for FREE!

Look for step 10 soon!


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