Make Your Life Better: Experience Versus Transaction


I talk about this in my programs.  Technical industries are notorious for just getting down to business, solving the problem, making things work, and totally ignoring the human aspect of that interaction.  With very few exceptions, you can’t do business without people.  And people can be complex creatures.  They have their own values, their own mental models, their own likes and dislikes, and their own motivations.  It can be hard to tap into the proper thing when dealing with others.  And most technical people don’t possess the emotional competence to be adept at this process.  They simply don’t understand the emotional context of business transactions.  This makes for sterile, unemotional transactions.

But the smart companies and the smart people know that this is vital to success.  When you create a positive emotional experience instead of just a transaction, that person creates an emotional memory surrounding that event.  So when you contact them again, they remember that event from an emotional standpoint instead of a business standpoint.  And since most decisions are made based on emotion and memory (see previous blogs), they are much more likely to do business with you in the future.

But what if you took this concept to its ultimate conclusion.  What if you decided to make an effort to turn every encounter with another human being into a positive emotional experience?  What if you truly connected with that person and found out a little bit about them?  What if you got to know them a little bit?  What if you asked them how their day was going and listened with true empathy and compassion?  What if you reached out to others in a more meaningful way?

My guess is that your life would be fuller and richer.  You would also make their lives fuller and richer.  The Dalai Lama said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  Imagine if everyone practiced this concept.  The world would be a better place.

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